Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve finally come one step closer to living my dream, or maybe it’s because I’ve finally accepted how much I just love what I’m doing. Who knows?

A few years back, my grandfather, whom I love to death, told me not to sing anymore because it’s not a very suitable option for me, a Pakistani Muslim American girl. He told me I had so many other talents to choose from, and that it wasn’t something I should do. I listened to him. I fought against myself all the way through my first year of college, until one day I fell upon a quote that said, “her life improved dramatically when she decided to break the rules and find beauty where she’d been told there was none.” I printed it out and hung it up on my wall, and stared at if for hours.

Life is too simple, and we make it so complicated. I’m still young, and discovering myself, and what is right and wrong. But, to stop singing and acting was the worst thing I could have done for myself. My soul literally died. It became this mechanical mess, operating on a 9-5 basis. So I quit my job, and began working for a theater company, teaching kids the importance of the arts. They say God works in mysterious ways, and at the time I didn’t really understand why I was quitting my job at the bank, however I just knew it had to be done.

My first job given to me at the Theater Company was to help the middle school drama club with their show. I worked with those kids for months before it was finally opening night. After the night was over, and I saw the kids taking their final bows, I started crying, because they all looked so happy. I was so happy.

I came home and told my mom I wanted to begin acting. That I needed an agent. I told her I just needed one person to support me, and be there for me. I rehearsed this impressive speech to sway her in my favor, and I got a big, fat, “NO.” Why? Because it’s not suitable. It’s not acceptable. I need to be realistic. It’s not realistic.

I knew after that I was on my own. I had to fend for myself, educate myself. I couldn’t rely on anyone. I couldn’t rely on anyone because no one would ever understand the dream. No one would ever feel what I feel. No one would see what I see. And I was completely okay with that. I wasn’t going to mope around, it was just the way it was. I worked better alone anyways.

I ventured off to find an agent to represent me. I met one, and didn’t like her at all, so I just waited. I met a casting agent and talked to her. She encouraged me to attend her agent showcase. After attending it, I got signed on to a manager and… now my journey begins.

Now, I’m watching my younger sister sleep, and I’m just hoping no one discourages her from whatever she chooses to do. I’m hoping she has enough strength to go forth and chase her dreams, no matter what it takes. I pray that she finds her way, like I’m finding my own.

Inshallah.

Literally one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.